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Óóó, Ember!

Szomorú estére alkonyodtunk. Szombaton hagytam el utoljára a házat. Csütörtök óta 1 kimenő hívás. Semennyi bejövő. 2 sms. Szomorú. Kissé jelentéktelen vagyok. Bocsánatot kérek. De amúgy: én ezt így nembírom tovább.

After the Death of Me

i like these days. things go well with my father. We went cycling in the week-end and we talk to each other. This is nice. but if just look at the other side... It was one of my most loneliest week in this year. Maybe that's the reason why I have read two books during 5 days. It's not usual.
if you have already heard about the English alternative band called Bloc Party, and if you have heard their song: I Still Remember (or Hunting for witches)... Then you have the possibility to imagine what i feel now...

Some words about my "bac de francais": It was more difficult than i expected. I think i didn't have enough straight tip, but I had some "nearly straight one". We had to write two letters. I've written a whole letter about "18 bottle of wine". It wasn't appropriate. My teacher suggested that it was a big fault.
So... hmm. not so... rather S.O.S. ---> It means. Somebody Oughtto Saveme!!!

Everything collepses

I told my mum last night before the party that I'll get home around ten or eleven o'clock in the evening and I came home half past six in the morning. She was really upset and told me that she won't give pocket money again. I know that i was in an elegant eight hours late but that so sirious. I won't have money. Dommage!
I don't know if it is worth all-in-all, but it was a nice party.
Now I sould learn french but as I haven't sleep this night I'm just like a zomby and do nothing.
Tomorrow I WILL learn.

Nice

It was a nice day. it was nice to hear from him that " Nice to see you". When he said it didn't mean that "it IS nice to see me". What he said meant that he waited for that meeting, and it was nice to his heart...
Well. If i right remember there were some days when I tought that "it" can work between us. I changed my mind.
The truth is: my heart suggest something different. Suggest someone different, who is maybe unreachable but thats all.
On the other hand it was pleased to me to hear that he likes me.
And it's my dicision to chase the "old" love. ohhpsz It's not accurate. it wasn't love when we were together. Now it is. And I realised what I did in the wrong way...
The reality is: I won't have chance to do it well. he's out. :'(

"I'm open, you're closed"
I hate myself!!! And want to die because of my silly things. dammit. Why is it?
I've fallen in love with someone who don't care about me. I'm sure. Watching these stupid web-sites and realising that he has his own life. And I' m no more in it.
I don't know what to do. What to do with this feeling, which I think will never end....
Just wipe the tears...
Poor me. that was what I was waiting for... And now. That makes my life comlicated

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

When I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

Mon Dieu!

I'm really tired of going to school. After this relaxing break I have to do the usual "life" and fight with those nerveus... It's a habit with me to be depressed after good things. But that's life: ups-and-downs, and It's time for me to learn how to deal.
As I wrote I had no inspiration to go a New Year's Eve pary. And... I did it. So I ignored every circumstances and i did what I tought the best for me. The result is: I stayed home...

Solving those problems

I have to profess that I have a really bad feeling about myself because of ingoring this blog so long. I just do some pitiable effort to make my english better and one of my classmate had an advise. He recommended me to write a blog in english. And i tought it is just about that. I have not realise how much I enjoy it (even i make a lot of mistakes)
I have a hungarian blog at www.sors.blogol.hu
So. tomorrow will be the pary of the parties. Or not? The problem is in my head. because i think the Party of The New Years Eve is just for thoso who worked all year and at this night they have a last chance to have a party. But I'm not one of them. The 2007 year was just about entertainment for me. I don't need a last chance. I used the whole year to do what I want.
Even so... I'll go to the party. But just as usual.

sad days

hmm. I have not done anything in the last two week. There is still nobody in my life to trust in and love. why?
Last week my parents gone out and I stayed home with my brother to drink. as we talked about important and more important things he said that he thinks that the reason why I have no lover is I don't want it from my heart. I swear I do. I got everything except this. Friends, Success... what would ever wish for in my teen-age. Except this.

"If you live through this with me I swear that I will die for you"

Not getting well

When I went out at the break to smoke, my ex-boyfriend dropped his searching gaze on me. Maybe he... Too complicated...
We had a typically funny biology lesson today. Nevertheless I hate this subject, these lessons are one of the most ridiculous.
I have something to learn this afternoon. Tomorrow I'll have an examination about which I'm very nervous. It's part of getting my driving licence.
Last week I said to my best girlfriend that she is a faggot. She didn't like it. We haven't spoke to each other since. But I think I was right, and I don't care anymore about her emotional shootings. On that score I won't go to the party on Friday. C'est la vie.
I start learning.